In A La Mode time, we're in March, just before Schulz starts to work there.

Culinary Children's Book of the Week:

The Witches by Roald Dahl


Because it is funny, scary, and will give you nightmares! Although I was skeptical when my older brother foisted it on me, I finally read it out of curiosity and got freaked out in the prologue.

In this book, witches don't wear pointed hats, talk to cats, or cast magic spells. They are sadistic creatures who love to make children disappear. They turn them into chickens, trick them into taking a snake home, and terrify the bejeebers out of our narrator, an unnamed Norwegian boy. His grandmother, a retired witchopile, tells him all the old stories about witches and why to be wary of them.

What happens besides all this talk about witches? Our protagonist accidentally meets some at an English hotel! Not only that, but he hears their diabolical plan to get rid of all English children using sweet shops . . . the meeting involves a witch getting fried for telling the truth, a lot of bald heads, and how to make Mouse formula in your very own home. When any little boy hears this, especially in a Roald Dahl tale, he sets out to stop them, even if it means braving a bunch of bloodthirsty chefs and hiding from waitresses.

In terms of plot, not much happens, as it takes about five chapters before the boy and his grandmother reach the hotel. But Roald Dahl invigorates his characters and has them act in a very real world. We also get a rather interesting recipe for young cooks out to try, although their parents may not want them to simmer rats in frog juice for an hour.

Roald Dahl, especially when this book came out, has been accused of being sexist. In the story's prologue, he asserts that "a witch is always a woman" and that male witches do not exist. But if the tale is truly sexist, why does he put in such an awesome grandmother? Not only does she know everything about witches, but she has a lot of common sense and defense mechanisms (her cigars) to cope with what happens.

Do yourself a favor and check this out. The nightmares are worth it.