June 12th, 2010, 9:06 am

A Message from the Rainbow Monster

An open letter to all human oppressors:

do not believe the propaganda spread about my righteous work in liberating the colors of the world.

I also object to the mockery made of rainbows. We are beautiful ethereal results of flooding thunderstorms, which you also fail to appreciate, and you turn us into a symbol of happiness and peace! Not to mention that we are associated with the sellouts who go on TV and make us appear as child figures.

And don't get me started on the leprechaun swarms that keep burying gold under our beds- all of my nieces and nephews have developed extensive mousetraps to keep them out that keep on snagging my little toe. Like I don't already suffer from insomniac paranoia.

I also shake my head at the mockery of colors in your world. It started, of course, with painters like that Monet who was only trying to see if he could recreate the world with splashes, but technology has evolved to the point that they can actually capture the shades of hue that are trying to clock in for work. You mercilessly imprison red pencil marks on paper, lavender acrylic on the canvas, and black and white on your digital photographs.

Until this outrage stops, I will continue to steal all the paints that come within my grasp and I will prevail in my righteous deeds on behalf of all rianbows! Viva los colores!

Post A Comment

News Archive

Hosted by Smack Jeeves. Layout by Nikicus.